How to ask for (and deny) a second date

The romantic world can be a revolving door at times. The accessibility of dating apps has increased the pool of potential suitors without the in-person benefit of feeling “the vibes”. While it’s nice to have more options, we can’t control whether or not there is that organic click. Here are two easy phrases that can continue the magic or stop the party bus from going any further. 

First: How to ask for a second date. 

You have a great connection through text and amazingly enough a great connection in person. You want to express interest to your date and make sure that the excitement is mutual, but rejection is scary and hard. At the end of the date, read the room and look at their body language. Are they cuddly and close? Or do they seem like they are rushing? If you’re getting all positive reinforcement try saying something like, “I had a great time, you’re really easy to talk to and someone I’d like to know more! Want to hang out again next week?” It’s always nice to hear a compliment and this question allows the other person to understand your intentions while not coming off as pushy. 

Second: How to decline a second date. 

As the saying goes, “You have to kiss a couple frogs before you find your prince.” While not taken literally, dating is a game of chance. There’s 7 billion people in the world and you didn’t find the person you want to spend your short life on earth with. No big deal, happens to everyone. Sometimes, though, the other person isn’t feeling the same way and asks to continue seeing each other. This is always a tough spot to be in so approach the question with compassion. Simply saying, “I think you’re an awesome person! I just don’t feel a special connection but thank you for letting me get to know you” shows that you are firm in your decision but value the other person being vulnerable. If they persist, just say the same version of the above. It’s not up for discussion. 

Putting yourself out there and standing your ground makes you feel and appear confident. So ask away and if you get rejected move on. Your happiness is on the line, and it’s out there waiting for you. 

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